I do - kind of?

"Is marriage a relic of a patriarchal past that should be retired shamefully to the dresser like a used garter belt? Or is it an open institution that can be played with, screwed around with and reassembled at will?"
I'm sure a number of you are wondering just what happened to that difficult, idealistic grrrl who despised patriarchy in all its forms and wanted nothing to do with the institution of marriage. I assure you, she is not dead! But she loves this guy and shouldn't feel bad about it, damn it!

Still, the stress and excitement and hullabaloo over the wedding definitely grates on me sometimes. Being constantly surrounded by progressive thinkers and completely independent, happy women can cause an occassional freak-out. I will admit, when in the office, I keep those bridal magazines buried at the bottom of my bag. And I never buy one without backing it up with
Harper's or Bust or Off Our Backs. In certain circles, I feel real guilt for having a ring on my finger.

I wanted to share an
essay by Amy Benfer that mildly soothes my feminist fears. It is not an argument for or against feminists tying the knot. It does touch on the internal (and external) struggles facing some womyn who make this decision.

Anyway, this nerd liked it. Give me some feedback, ladies!

FYI: A pretty good site for other sell-outs (kidding!) is Indiebride. The bitching on their bulletin board makes me happy.


Blogger Erika said...

here's the thing, i feel the same was as you. I was the first of all my very good friends to be married...and have a baby!!! That's a bit scary. Part of me feels like I "sold out" but then I think about how the family I am making is the family that I wished I had.

Plus I wear the pants in the relationship and it evens things out so that I don't lose the Feminazi in me.

11:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was also the first of all my friends to get married and have babies. And I was/am a lefty feminist. :) As Marlo said, free to be you and me. Feminism means you get to do what you want. I like it. Hope you're happy, honey. Love, -kathleen (in her new sexism laden identity as a Dolak step-monster)

9:57 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home